"Where the Hell am I?" you might be askin' yerself. Well you've wandered into Killville Massachusetts, the creepy little home town of Angry Johnny & The Killbillies. As long as you're here why don't you take a look around. We've got the"Killville Historical Museum Of The Strange" where you can check out some of the local crypto-zoology, prehistoric critters, grisly folklore and all sorts of weirdness, and the Killville General Store where you can pick up all sorts of Angry Johnny and The Killbillies souvenirs and the like. Then you can head on over to Angry's Creepy Little Gallery and peruse some of his world renowned artworks. And you can listen to Radio Free Killville WKIL the whole time you're checkin' things out. WKIL plays nothin' but Angry and The Killbillies sweet sound of rock & rollin'-countryfide-murder balladin'-bloodgrass 24 hours a day. So pop open a beer or a jug and stay a while, it's not like you've got anything better to do....

October 14, 2005

Colossal Abe Strikes Again


The mysterious beast (which locals have dubbed Colossal Abe on account of its striking resemblance to our 16th president) rampaged through the parking lot of the Killville Inn last night destroying 7 vehicles. Police followed his giant footprints hoping to finally capture or kill the gargantuan pest. Unfortunately the tracks ended at the Connecticut River.
This photo, snapped by newspaper delivery man Oliver Basset marks the first time the monster has been caught on film. " I guess we can't be blaming this carnage on doped up high school kids no more." stated Sheriff Big Dick Turner, "We got a bigger problem now." Asked how he planned to deal with the fifty foot monster Turner added,"We got us an old howitzer from the armory. Once we find where that colossal bastard is hold up we're gonna go John Wilkes Booth on his ass."

posted by Angry Johnny at 3:41 AM

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